Don’t Expect the Hollywood Ending

“Nothing ends happily; otherwise, it wouldn’t have ended.”

-Origin Unknown

I’m positive that it will make itself very apparent over time, but I have a fanboy-ish obsession over a few select athletes; and perhaps above them all is Tom Brady. I could rave on and on about the stories on his work ethic (being the first in the building, last to leave, regularly welcoming Rodney Harrison with a “Good afternoon” at 5 AM in the weight room); or the meticulous focus on his well-covered, caffeine-free, alkaline-heavy nutrition intake to keep his body healthy and performing at an MVP level of a QB well into his 40s; and of course, his insatiable desire to compete to be the best, and continue playing until he’s kicked out of the league (“I’ll retire when I suck” he infamously said in 2014, with another three [2021 edit: four] Super Bowl titles yet to win).

Thinking back to just after that year, in the 2015-16 season, I remember the thrill and elation I felt watching him lead the Patriots to a late comeback Super Bowl victory over the Seahawks, only a few months after a brutal regular season defeat in Kansas City, sparking analysts everywhere to question if Brady had lost ‘it’ (which became an annual tradition for the talking heads from thereon out). After Malcolm Butler snagged that interception, and Brady took a knee to get title number four (after a ten-year drought), I thought in my mind “This is it—Brady has to retire now and go out on top. How epic would that be?!” It would’ve been the picturesque ending to his career, riding off into the sunset like John Elway (and yet-to-happen at the time, Peyton Manning). But what I’d eventually come to realize is that when you have the passion that Tom Brady (or anybody in the top 99.99 percentile of their industry) feels for football, you’re never going to have that storybook ending. Instead, it’s going to end ugly—and that’s ok, because the ending will be the furthest thing from your mind. When Brady says he isn’t even thinking about retirement, I believe he’s being authentic—Of course he’s not worried about his storybook ending; in his mind, the story he’s writing hasn’t even hit the best part yet.

Finish lines are the most overhyped, anticlimactic, overly-embellished aspects of life goals. This is another topic I can and will write about at some point—but that’s another topic for another entry. Let’s focus on the race to the finish line instead: When you’re 100% fully committed to a career, interest, hobby, etc—to the point where you’re described as obsessed, hyperfocused, or even neurotic in your work ethic—you’re doing one of two things: 1-Slaving away in misery, driven by some carrot that may or may not be waiting at the end of the rat race when all the work is ‘done.’ Perhaps it’s some promotion you’re expecting to get, some weight loss goal that will ‘change your life,’ or maybe it’s the career achievement that will finally get your critics to stop asking questions (Spoiler alert—you’re going to be sorely disappointed at how those expectations turn out). On the other hand, it could also mean something else: 2-That you’re genuinely thriving through the rigors of the race, embracing the struggle, investing yourself in the journey so much that you find a legitimate joy from the process that so many others show a disdain for. In Tom vs Time, Brady discusses how he can’t explain it, but he loves watching game film, claiming he could sit there and just watch recorded offensive and defensive schemes playing out for hours and hours. I’ll be honest—I’ve never played football on an organized team that watched game film to improve, but I’m going to go out on a limb (based off the good word of friends who have) and suggest that watching game film is not exactly the most exciting of activities to do in your free time. Every field of work or specialized craft has these ‘game film’ procedures—there are the dedicated gym rats who live for the feeling of pain and soreness brought from heavy deadlifts and squats; those nutrition-obsessed people who insist they legitimately enjoy their cottage cheese and protein powder concoction more than a feast of pizza and hot wings; or how about those tech guys—a million times smarter than a guy like me–who are coding fiends, finding happiness from writing html and programming script all day long (the likely inaccuracy of those term usages demonstrates my own ignorance and annoyance of the subject). Some people genuinely like these sorts of tedious or painful tasks, and that is the reason they’re successful: They enjoy doing the things that drive so many others well beyond boredom. And when you have this sort of insane, innate desire for the grind? You can sense it—and you never want to stop it.

Back to Brady. If he’s having so much fun in the rigorous aspects of the job, enjoying putting in the hours to get better every year, and accumulating more experience and knowledge as he gets more seasons under his belt—why would he ever want to make the decision to stop?! Any ounce of potential left in his career—even just a whiff of a chance at another championship—is reason for him to keep the story extended for another chapter. And he’s no longer at the point in his life where he’s doing this to prove his critics wrong—because guess what: they’re going to be right someday. Someday, Brady will ‘suck’, he will be out of a starting job, and he will be forced out of the league.. And the annual “Brady is falling off a cliff” story will finally be accurate, as the Max Kellermans and Rob Parkers of the world rejoice in ‘I told you so!’ affirmation. Brady has reached such a passionate relationship with football to the point where he’ll extend his career as long as he physically can, in order to challenge himself— because that is what provides him true satisfaction from his work.

Where does this fit in the concept of Forever Chasing Better? It doesn’t matter what your ‘better’ is— a perfect, symmetric, shredded but muscular physique without an ounce of body fat; to become the greatest  salesman with 100% closing rate, or even to cement your status as the most talented writer the world has ever seen— you’re never going to fully get there. Your ‘dream’ isn’t going to have that storybook ending of perfection—but like Brady, a true ‘lover of the game’ has zero intention of quitting in those aspirations regardless. In a nutrition-based life dedicated to keeping physical fitness a top priority, you’re always going to be your harshest critic, finding areas you can work on, or nagging lifts that aren’t as strong as you’d like. In the business world, when you have a true love for the art of sales, you’re going to learn new closing techniques with every customer you see—and develop new, better ways of handling situations from every missed sale (and believe me, you won’t ever stop seeing those). And as a writer, you may read over something again and again, but the truth is that no final publication will ever be ‘perfect’ in your eyes, as you gain more perspective and skills through getting the writing reps in, and wish you could’ve rewritten things a bit differently in hindsight. You’re chasing perfection; perfection is the finish line. But perfection is a fallacy, and thus, the finish line means nothing to you. The ‘riding off into the sunset’ moment is never going to happen, as you fail to ultimately achieve perfection. But the truth of it all is that you won’t care one bit whatsoever. While others hit their tangible-goal finish line, and wonder when the celebration will be worth all that aggravating, monotonous work they put in, you’ll still be running with your finish line hidden somewhere in the clouds beyond infinity, knowing that your body will give out before you get there— and smiling regardless. Why wouldn’t you be happy, knowing that the distance you’ll travel, scenery you’ll see, and memories you’ll create along the way will be more than anybody else in the race could even imagine? Enjoy this chase, but don’t expect a storybook ending. The greatest ones never get one— Jordan on the Wizards was a forgettable afterthought to his prolific Chicago career. Brett Favre, after rejoining the race again and again, found himself finally forced out of the league after a rough last season in Minnesota. The late Kobe Bryant had his incredible 60-point final game, sure; But there’s no denying that his last couple of seasons with the Lakers not even making the playoffs drove an ultra-competitive champion like him furious. And, like the rest, Brady’s ending will be ugly as well. A perfectly imperfect ending to a wonderful career. And we’re all no different, when we chase better every day.

The question you have to ask is: “Which unhappy ending am I more willing to accept? The one where I leave potential, skill, and opportunity on the table, knowing that I had more to give but called it quits early? Or the one where I ended a little too late, but went down swinging, knowing that every ounce of effort I had to give had been sacrificed toward my passion?” You know, maybe that’s not such a sad ending after all.

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ALL critiques are welcome and incredibly appreciated! Feel free to send them to feedback@foreverchasingbetter.com; Be as harsh as you’d like— nobody gets better with a compliment…